Out of the blue, I suddenly feel the urge of making a post about the so-called new year. Since everyone around me is busy celebrating and making such a long wish list and resolutions, I guess it affects me too.
Talking about new year. I remember, last year, I spent a whole New Year's Eve with one of my best friends. Who knows that now we're strangers? Not joking here, suddenly she just disappeared into the thin air. Don't want to talk much about this. But, she left me with many disappointments.
And I am writing this after going out with my old pals in college, simply dined together and watched the fireworks near our place. It's simple, but nice. It's nice to reconnect with them, even one of them asked me "when was the last time you laugh?" It stabbed me right in place. Well, I live a fairly good life nowadays. I have a job, building stairs for my career as blogger, and made my parents proud.
But, what have I done with myself? I just realized that I've done nothing. Shoot. I laugh, but it's not from my heart. It's just to make sure that I fit in the society. Society wants us to be normal. We should quickly laugh when someone throw a joke, we should be sad when someone passed away, and we should have fun when we're off from work.
And if you're different, then people will start complaining. They want us all to be alike. What's wrong of loving mellow, slow, sad songs? What's wrong with having such a deep joy just sitting on the corner of your room with lights turned off? What's wrong with being so alive walking slow in the pedestrian walk in the middle of the night?
Should I be happy for YOU?
No, I am entitled to be myself. And when I chose to be happy, it should be for me. No, not for you, not for my family, friends, parents, lovers, even God. I want to be happy for myself, then, I can be happy for others. I'm so sorry if I'm such a selfish bitch, but well, it's me. I'm the queen of myself.
So, what's with the new year and year 2014?
Well, call it resolution or anything alike, but I just want to be happy for myself starting from this year. I want to learn not to care with others' comments, talkings, or useless crap (commonly known as advice).
So simple, but it won't be easy I predict.
How about yours?